3D jumping mice with trumpets and little drums

Saw a FREE(!) advance screening of the new 3D stop-motion (with some CG) film Coraline. We did have to go to Crawley though...

It's a creepy little tale about "other mothers" and secret doorways to another world where things at first seem better, but guess what? They are not. Based on a book by famed comic writer Neil Gaiman, it will scare the young ones, indeed, we even hear one little 'um tell their mum they didn't like a bit, but hey, kids need some fear these days. Oh and don't forget scooping your eyes out and sewing buttons onto your face instead. Good times.

So go see it, there are lots of colours and cool stuff, but make sure you get to a 3D theatre, cus it's better that way. I'm not ever a huge fan of 3D, I often feel that instead of drawing you further into the film it throws you out. This film almost manages to do it right. There are some pop out of the screen moments that annoy me, as the 3Dness works best with more subtle shots, the multiple distance reflections in the computer screen was amazing, as were the rain drops on the window. If this movie is anything to go by, its possible, just, that one day 3D will no longer be a cinematic gimmick, but something is actually used often, and used well to further the telling of the story, not just for wow factor.

Lost oppertunities...

in Star Trek. Stay with me.

Star Trek is awesome. I am a Trekkie though and though and have been as long into my childhood as I can remember. That said, no one can deny there are some shitty shitty episodes out there.

And this brings me to today's topic. I was thinking about all the cool future story lines alluded to in many episodes that were never picked up on. But I though far enough, the shows can't go on forever... but wait! What about all the shit episodes! What if instead of making them, they had picked up on some of their own previous cool ideas! This list/discussion is by no means definitive, but just some of the loose ends/cool opportunities I would love to have seen explored, which will likely never now be, as Star Trek has essentially started again under JJ Abrams (not something I'm against mind).

Star Trek: The Original Series

TOS will largely not feature in this blog, as I really can't think of any great missed story opportunities suggested by other episodes. That's not to say there were not shit episodes, but off the top of my head I can't remember any examples like the ones to follow from other shows.

Star Trek: The Next Generation (and TNG era movies)

TNG did a good job at times with reliving interesting or unresolved ideas, Data's relationships with his brother, father and mother (and B4) were well explored, and generally well written. Even the Crystalline Entity made a repeat occurrence, rapping up it's story.The consequences of events in I, Borg are explored well in what was also the final Lore episode, Descent. The relationship between Troi and Riker, also well explored, and nice and gradually throughout the TV show and the movies, culminating in their marriage.

Some ideas however were never concluded or fully explored. Wesley Crusher for example. Specifically, what happened with him and the Traveler. When Wesley left the show as a regular, I am glad that he occasionally turned up, this made TNG feel much more like real life, and like a real universe, where people part ways, come together again etc. After all, his mother was still on the Enterprise so it only made sense that he would visit. But as for his fate? After the first occurrence of the Traveller we wanted to know when Wesley would start to become whatever it was he was to become, and we did see him begin his journey, in the ironically named "Journey's End." But what next? He pops up in a Star Fleet uniform at Troi and Riker's wedding in Nemesis. Don't get me wrong, great Easter egg to have him in there, but is he back in Star Fleet? (why would someone with his abilities bother) What's going on? Where is the Traveler?

This next one spills over into DS0 too. That is Kahless the (perhaps not so) Unforgettable. So he's a clone. So he's a figurehead emperor. He or at least his name pops up from time to time in DS9, clearly had no real power, but what happened? Did he attempt to rise up and get killed? Did he die of old age a Shadow of what his original was? Did Worf kill him? Cus he killed just about every other important Klingon.

Lets talk Spock. He magnificently poped up in "Unification" working on Romulus to unite the Romulans with with their ancient cousins the Vulcans. What happened next? We ran into the Romulans a fair few times, was Spock in jail? Were the Romulans and the Vulcans talking? Then we get to Nemisis. Something should have been explained here. Spock need not had been in the movie, but some mention of what what happening with the apparently growing reunification movement? Hopefully JJ will throw some light in this. If not, I believe the (arguably first canon) comic - Countdown does. Will purchase it if the movie is any good.

They did come back to Sarek in "Unification" and bring his story to an end, so that was cool. Always good to see Sarek, hopefully Ben Cross will do Mark Lenard justice

Last TNG example, Q! Picard will chart and explore the human mind or whatever he said to him at the end of "All Good Things..."! What happened to Picard in the future! Does he go Sisko style? What happens? Final TNG movie? I doubt it. Straight to DVD? Something!

Star Trek: Deep Space 9

I'm sure there are a great many more examples that this, but it's the one that annoys me the most. Props to DS9 for returning to Tom Riker, one of TNG's loose ends, and also for revisiting the Mirror Universe.

Section 31. Well explored actually, but I would have loved some closure. Possible with the closure of the section. I don't know.

Star Trek: Voyager

I'm sure there are examples, but it just wasn't that great a show. Which is a shame, cus I really like the characters in it. Just the stories were never that great, so there is nothing that really leaving me wishing I know more.

Star Trek: Enterprise

Similar to Voyager really, loved the characters, loved mush of the production design and that it was in wide screen, but not that great stories. Got much better in the fourth season though. Props for revisiting/showing origins of Section 31, and for showing the birth of the Federation in the last 2 parter (and I suppose the shitty shitty final episode - what a crap ending). The biggest loose end with Enterprise is the show itself, what happened to everyone?

Enterprise was just a problem, a prequel where many things just didn't tie in with the other shows, the like Borg episode. Why bother? I mean I can put up with canon violations to a point, the better the story, the larger the violation I can live with, but this episode really wasn't worth it. Also, why call the ship the fucking Enterprise? I mean i kind of get why, but it fucks with every observation room/recreation deck wall display from every other series. Call it something else. Also, they dropped "Star Trek" from the titles for the first couple of seasons to make it "cool," well everyone knows what the Enterprise is just as much! Call the show "Crazy Horse" and no one would have a fucking clue. Also would have been a cool Easter egg for TNGers.

Props though for revisiting the Eugenics wars, and the Klingons without bumpy heads in TOS issue (Worf's "we don't talk about it" explanation in DS9 really didn't cut it). Also props for Data's criminal ancestor, Mirror universe/Tholian Web tie in, and explaining why their Vulcans were so damn grumpy and scheming.

Speaking of Vulcans, why is it that Leonard Nimoy and Mark Lenard are really the only two people who can convincingly play Vulcans? Tim Russ and Ambassador from Enterprise weren't bad.

My 2 cents and most boring Blog yet.

New Blog, Original Parts

What do you say when I say Vin Diesel? You say a big bald head and a car. And that's what Halletto and myself were treated to when we saw Fast and Furious, the fourth (Though chronologically third?) in the Fast and the Furious franchise.

Luckily they killed off the one who also got killed off from LOST in the first ten minutes, and Dizil and Walker go in search of her killer. Bad graphics? Check. Poor acting and dialogue? Check. Girl on girl action round every corner? Check. Fucking awesome then? Check. Nuff said.

Got The League of Extraordinary Gentleman Vol. 2 the other day, and what can you say? Alan Moore is the man. Introducing his "found" characters to the martian invasion from H. G. Wells' War of the Worlds. That and some big talking animals that look like Rupert the bear. Look out carefully and you can see two foxes ripping Peter Rabbit apart. Not quite as good as the first Vol. but still well worth a read. There's boobs in it too.

Waxed the car today.

Oh, forgot, saw Old Boy the other day. Fucked up Korean shit. If you haven't seen it and plan on seeing it, I hope you like incest. Was it as good as the hype? No. Still good, really liked the first half and the climax, but it was far longer than it needed to be - a curse affecting many movies these days. I blame The Lord of the Rings, which I have recently realised is not actually that good. Fucking Peter Jackson. Has anyone sat all the way though his piss poor remake of King Kong? There is no way that story can take up that amount of time. Half hour special is about all that story needs. Not that I'm dissing it - the basic story - but its no Beowulf. Not that anyone's done that properly yet either. When a sci-fi Christopher Lambert straight to DVD affair is a miles better version than a Hollywood tent pole you know you have cursed story. There's another one coming out this summer, called Outsider or Outlander or something, the one review I have read was positive, but I'm certainly not holding my breath.

Keep it Rizzil.

Solving mysteries and killing hookers

In the last week, following my highly successful Birthday celebrations, I have finished the graphic novel From Hell, and read both Batman: The Killing Joke and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol. 1. All of these titles are by the master comic book author Alan Moore (I should branch out more, but as they say, once you go black...).

From Hell and The League have both been adapted into piss poor movies, and I'm glad I'd only seen a bit of one of them (From Hell), therefor not ruining the original material. The Killing was one of Tim Burton's inspirations for the first Batman movie, though there are no obvious parallels. I have to admit that I didn't find The Killing that amazing, often billed as the ultimate Batman/Joker story, which if true doesn't leave me wanting to read any of the others. I have in fact read that Moore himself finds his Batman story somewhat wanting, and who am I to argue with the master. In short, its not bad by any means, but its cliched, and lacks the depth of character that is so brilliant in much of Moore's other writings.

From Hell is epic. Literally, the book is fucking huge, and it's all in black and white. And it absolutely rocks. I'll admit it took me a while to get into, I was reading to sporadically, and not in big enough chunks, and because of the very realistic art style, I often had trouble differentiating between the numerous characters. This problem more or less disappeared for the second half of the book, which I read within a week. This is not a superhero comic, indeed it's not really a comic - except it is. It's a murder mystery without the mystery, its a study of both Victorian and present day western society, and its a study of humanity, with some Mason conspiracy thrown in for good measure. As good as Watchmen? Perhaps. So different its hard to compare.

And so lastly to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Pretty much every character in this piece is drawn from fiction that has entered the public domain, thus freeing them from the shackles of their expired copyright. (note: I am not necessarily against copyright laws, this was just a cool sentence.) Much more handleable that From Hell, and with a lot less (though still some) sex and swearing, written as if it were written at the turn of the century, the book is full of tongue in cheek sexism and racism, which in a wrong sort of a way adds to the books charm. The League is a rip-roaring adventure set in the olden days, kind of like Indiana Jones, except written by a genius instead of George Lucas. And its got Captain Nemo and the invisible man in it, so what more could you want? I have just ordered the second volume.

On another note, I was in Flares in Guildford the other day, and my God that place sucks. It is exactly the same as it was six or so years ago - the last time I was there, except it has lost all its kitche (sp?) value, and is now just pure lame. Almost empty by 11:30, and the staff do little dances every now and again. Really fucking dire. Having said that, I did have a great time!

If you're about to make a movie, and you think hey, lets make it CG just for the fuck of it, DON'T.

Well I know what you've all been asking: Phil, what has happened with all your creative endeavours? Your books, movies, TV shows, songs etc. Well it is true that I have been neglecting the book for a while, but did open the sucker up the other day, wrote a few paragraphs. Still like it, so it may yet be finished.

Movies and TV shows have been on the back burner for a bit, though there have been a couple of graphic novel ideas I have been playing with, ideas that I'd like to be movies, but the budgets would be huge. My newest idea would be pretty gory, so once (or if) I finish writing it and get round to drawing it, I’ll need lots of red.

Songs aren't doing too badly, been perfecting my four favourites, and working on a couple of others, lyrics pretty much done for three of the favourites. Getting there with some little solos too.

Got Beowulf from Love Film the other day, you know the one, nothing is real and it’s all made of computers with Angelina Jolie’s tits comped in.

I had high hopes for this film, as I am not averse to stylised live action, I'm a big fan of 300, though that was entirely live action as far as principle characters were concerned, just background and long shots done with computers, and then some extreme grading.
The problem when animation comes this close to real life is that instead of helping you forget that what you are watching is not real, and draw you in more than more traditional and abstract animation, it does the opposite. Sometimes it looks almost real, sometimes (especially the horses and when people are shouting) it looks very fake. This constantly pulls you out of the film, and is visually confusing. Why was this even made as animation? Why not live action with CG monsters? Oh, cus then Ray “the old fat fuck” Winston would have had to get is fat ass in the gym for some long long gruelling workouts. I it just me or can anyone else buy him as a mythical hero? I can’t get the his fat sunburnt torso from Sexy Beast out of my mind every time he opens his mouth.

The vocal performances also come across as confused. Is this a cartoon or not? The actors seems to be constantly unsure as to what vocal styles to use, so they decided (Angelina in particular) to use stupid voices instead. The animation also frequently fails to convince when people are talking, it doesn’t match the emotions or expressions of the dialogue.

While talking about the vocal performances it is annoying that every character seems to have a different regional accent from the British Iles. This is typical of movies, (LOTR, 300 etc.) where anything from the olden days/mystical and far away (from America) is British, and never consistent, hence Scots, Cockney’s and Irish are all supposed to be from the same town, in Denmark – in a time when people tended to be born, live, and die in the same place. Perhaps they watch too much TV. I know this seems like nit-picking, which I suppose it is, but imagine a movie set in 1800's New York where a character born and bread there has a tick Texan drawl? Wouldn't fucking happen would it.

I admit that had I seen this at a cinema in 3D I would likely have enjoyed it a great deal more, but on Blu-ray it is not satisfying, nay, it sucks ass.

Film 2009 with Phil

That’s right, more film reviews. These are three movies I've watched in the last few days that I have never seen before - exciting I know. I'm going to watch 300 tonight, I've seen it before, but not in HD! (Thank you Love Film!) I won't bore you with my thoughts on it though. Yes I will. It rocks. Acting, not realistic, neither is the costume, sets, scrips or anything else, but its full of men (Scottish men to make matters better) with big muscles killing each other. Awesome. I won't defend it, but I certainly won't knock it.

3:10 to Yuma

It has to be said, the actors are what drew me to this movie, Christian Bale and Russel Crowe are two of my favorites. If I remember correctly this is a remake of some old western. And it's not a bad one. I'm not a big western fan, but I have seen a fair few as my dad is somewhat partial to the genre, being an old oil man that he is. Interestingly neither of the two leads (Bale and Crowe) are American, and their accents are not strong southern drawl, so you can actually understand what they are saying. The premise is simple, the bad dude has to be escorted to a train by the good (or goodish) dudes so he can stand trial in the city. Along the way stuff happens, and mutual respect is earned. There's nothing groundbreaking here, though the claim on the case that it is the best western since Unforgiven may be true, but that's not that difficult as there really haven't been any westerns made since Unforgiven. Fun, well enough made, but forgettable.

The Crying Game

When the DVD's for pocket lint thing started a while back. I Googled lists of the best British films, as I felt I needed to broaden my film tastes beyond Hollywood blockbusters. This came up so I got it, but never got round to watching it until now. The first twenty minutes are more or less what I had been expecting, having read the back of the DVD, not that that's a bad thing, they were a good twenty minutes. It's when the main dude goes to London that it got weird. He meets someone, someone about whom I was wondering whether or not something was the case and I was right, and it's sort of a love story, with a bit of Northern Ireland conflict politics thrown in. This is a good film, and a different film, and for its time no doubt a revolutionary film, and in many ways it still is. You have to be in the right mood to watch this, it is quite slow, and there is a lot of dialogue and character scenes, but if you are in the right mood, you Will enjoy it. It's also one of those films you enjoy more afterwards, and by that I mean it has a lasting effect on me, much like Good Night and Good Luck had, and the PBS documentary Ghosts of Rwanda.

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

This enjoyable tripe came free with the Blu-ray player, and its taken me a few months to get round to watching it, partially because my dad watched it and said it was terrible. I didn't think it was. Yes every aspect of the story and the premise is ludicrous, but accept that and its a perfectly acceptable popcorn movie. Indiana Jones is clearly the influence, possible the sole influence as all that is really missing here is a hat and a whip, though I suppose there is more of the problem/riddle solving going on here, and the plot is far more complicated. The one thing that really annoyed me about this was the bit in England. In the 60's American movies were full of bumbling posh English idiots saying things like "I haven't the foggiest," and in those days perhaps it can be forgiven, hell, maybe London was like that then, I wasn't there. But there is no excuse for the same nonsense in a film made and set in the 21st century. This part is made even more annoying by the fact the the American President in this movie is a poster perfect President, intelligent, handsome, charming, and understanding. American democracy = perfect, British system = bumbling. I'm not auguring with the latter half of that, the British system is far form perfect, but so is the American. Rant over. Fun film, exciting film, absolutely must suspend all sense of reality or good taste to enjoy at all film.

Shits and GIGgles

So Sunday night was the Metallica gig at the O2, and guess who did NOT have tickets? Me. Cus stupid Ticketmaster doesn't like my one and only monies card for some reason, and before I could sort it out, they were gone. Apparently it was awesome. Which is good because I would hate for my favorite band to have sucked, but it's crap because i wasn't there. Oh well, lets hope the Internet lets me get tickets for Sonisphere, so I won't miss the THIRD Metallica gig in a row.

However, all was not entirely bad, as I did attend another sold out gig that night. The Stone Gods, or half of The Darkness - the half without Justin. I don't have their album and have never seen them before, but booked it after a: not getting 'Tallica tickets and needing calming, b: hearing them on the radio and enjoying their Myspace tracks, and c: it was only £14.

And they absolutely rocked. Support band the Black Spiders was OK too, missed the first support. A small place, the 100 Club in London, very close to the band, I enjoyed every second of it. The crowd was very into it, they could have been a little moshier, but then the band aren't that heavy. Though talking of heavy, they covered Metallica's Whiplash, which made my night, a little taste of 'Tallica. They also covered Little Bit of Ohh or whatever it's called by Girls Aloud, which was interesting and brave. Kind of like when Mike Patton did Britney's Oops I Did it Again.

I tried to buy their album for the merch table, but stupidly they didn't have it. You'd think you'd stock it wouldn't you. Shitty smelly T-shirt that doesn't fit properly and is not lovely and soft? No thank you. Hat? Ummmm no. I know, on Vinyl. Tempting, but too pricey and i can't put it on me computer. Some support act merchandise? No I'm here to see the fucking Stone Gods. The single? The single?! Seriously? Who the fuck buys a CD single in this day and age. Who the fuck ever bought them for that matter? They were a complete rip off - you could get the album for a few quid more. Oh well, will have to try and buy it soon, as they impressed me very much. A little lighter rock than my usual liking, but awesome nonetheless.